Yes you did read that right! This week has been an odd concoction of learning experiences which has really confirmed what I thought I knew - that my current behaviour is starting to become such second nature that going back to where I was in March is almost unthinkable.
Last weekend was spend exploring Western Germany, with maybe a few too many beers and certainly more sausage than you can shake a frankfurter at (I'll forgo the obvious innuendo here!) so my weigh in was broadly flat on Wednesday, non-on, but still not the leaps and bounds I had hoped for so I felt a little bit dejected.
Now in the past, a "setback" like that might have thrown me off course, but it just made me even more focused to achieve my target to loose another 20kg by Christmas. Derailing therefore was not an option. Instead I took a long hard look at what I had had to eat, and drink in Germany, and just refocused. I've never really been a massive fan of food planning to the tiniest detail, but it does have its uses, and one thing I'm going to do in the future is make sure that I have planned all of my meals for the aftermath of a big heady weekend away before I've gone, then there's no "oh well let's wait another day" to getting back on track.
This has worked, this week everyday I've been below 1700 calories, my target of 2000 means that I have some headroom left in the event of any external factors. Most days this week I've been around 1500!
One further step forward this week has been clothes! I have finally had to admit defeat with work trousers, and gone out and buy new ones, a whole 8 inches smaller in the waist than when I started out on this journey. It's a real boost to see results like that. Stats, graphs, and KPI's as I discussed last time are one thing, but seeing clothes that actually don't fit you because they are too big, is the biggest boost you can have!
A final thought: I was talking to an overweight guy on the train into work the other morning one of our regular commuters. He's not as big as me and probably two-three years older than me. His attitude was appalling and one that I really couldn't understand.
He actually came up to me, knowing I worked for the train company, and said that he'd noticed my weight loss over the last few months and that he was very envious! We shared experiences of weight gain, and going through your teens and twenties overweight. I asked him why he had never attempted to loose it!
His response was "this is what I am!"
Maybe I am wrong to judge other people here, but how can someone, who acknowledges the risk that obesity causes to them, is suffering with the affects of it be too blasé to actually try and make an effort. I provided him with this blog, and some of the techniques I have been using. Hopefully he's reading this and will make a positive change, if not, then I find that sad, and yet another reason why this journey for me is definitely going to be a one way ticket down...
Sunday, 18 November 2012
Friday, 2 November 2012
What get's measured, get's managed...
So I'm now 7 weeks into this since I really started hitting the gym and watching my food intake, and it already starts to feel like what I am doing is becoming habit, and is ingrained in the fibre of my being.
They say that for a behaviour to become second nature takes 12 weeks, well I suppose I am now over half way through that process, and it's these next 5 weeks that are going to be the most crucial to cement and embed what I am doing!
Now as a 20-something management type with a degree in business, I like my Excel Spreadsheets, I like my KPI's and my SMART Objectives (Key Performance Indicators and Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Time, Realistic...cos I know some people will have gone "eh?") and my Outputs, these are the things that I get results with in my job, and well with 7 weeks worth of data to pour over, these are what I can start to measure in my Quest for Slimming Success.
My key KPI's are obviously my actual weight, calories consumed, calories burnt, but taking this a step further into my actual work outs, distance, time, heart rate and weight pushed (or pulled) are all critical.
I have already mentioned MyFitnessPal (http://www.myfitnesspal.com/) and I cannot stress how much of a simple one stop shop this little app is, and its associated website. Some of the calculations are not 100% especially as we get into the bigger ranges of weight, but they give you the general trend.
The next set of KPI's, about physical activity I can strongly recommend Nike+ (http://nikeplus.nike.com/) which with an Iphone or Ipod, you can track activity as you do it, I am lucky as I go to a Virgin Active gym we have TechnoGym cardio equipment which interfaces directly with your iPhone and your workout and a whole raft of stats about your workout.
The major output are two fold: 1 - my weight, and 2, something that has always been close to my heart - clothes!
I have started to feel a difference in my clothes, I have had to downsize considerably in the trouser department already, and my work trousers have had to be binned as they won't stay up any longer!
My weight, although I don't know for definite what my starting weight was is now being measured, and in the past week I had lost 11 1/2 pounds! Now extrapolating (big word alert) that back, I must have lost at least the 3 stone mark by now!
Now I have set myself a short term goal to see me through till Christmas.
Loose 4 Stone (56ibs) by 21st of December. Its specific, measurable and will be done so weekly, the time is 8 weeks, based on performance to date it is achievable and it is realistic.
This ties into my other Output, clothes, when I lost all of my weight before, I went mad, spending £1000s on anything with a name on it from Prada and Versace to G-Star and Diesel, fashion might have moved on, but my love of it hasn't, so I've bought my self some new clothes to get into when I hit that target of 4 stones!
Now, I have been plugging websites and app's galore, but this is the biggest one, and a thank you to the new lady in my life, Allison. The one thing that I got from wrtiing my last blog was that I need support along this journey, and so I have joined Slimming World with a friend. Alison, our consultant, has given me some fantastic new ideas for healthy eating, and proved to be a real dynamo of motivation and support! (https://www.facebook.com/groups/314882326512/?fref=ts)
They say that for a behaviour to become second nature takes 12 weeks, well I suppose I am now over half way through that process, and it's these next 5 weeks that are going to be the most crucial to cement and embed what I am doing!
Now as a 20-something management type with a degree in business, I like my Excel Spreadsheets, I like my KPI's and my SMART Objectives (Key Performance Indicators and Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Time, Realistic...cos I know some people will have gone "eh?") and my Outputs, these are the things that I get results with in my job, and well with 7 weeks worth of data to pour over, these are what I can start to measure in my Quest for Slimming Success.
My key KPI's are obviously my actual weight, calories consumed, calories burnt, but taking this a step further into my actual work outs, distance, time, heart rate and weight pushed (or pulled) are all critical.
I have already mentioned MyFitnessPal (http://www.myfitnesspal.com/) and I cannot stress how much of a simple one stop shop this little app is, and its associated website. Some of the calculations are not 100% especially as we get into the bigger ranges of weight, but they give you the general trend.
The next set of KPI's, about physical activity I can strongly recommend Nike+ (http://nikeplus.nike.com/) which with an Iphone or Ipod, you can track activity as you do it, I am lucky as I go to a Virgin Active gym we have TechnoGym cardio equipment which interfaces directly with your iPhone and your workout and a whole raft of stats about your workout.
The major output are two fold: 1 - my weight, and 2, something that has always been close to my heart - clothes!
I have started to feel a difference in my clothes, I have had to downsize considerably in the trouser department already, and my work trousers have had to be binned as they won't stay up any longer!
My weight, although I don't know for definite what my starting weight was is now being measured, and in the past week I had lost 11 1/2 pounds! Now extrapolating (big word alert) that back, I must have lost at least the 3 stone mark by now!
Now I have set myself a short term goal to see me through till Christmas.
Loose 4 Stone (56ibs) by 21st of December. Its specific, measurable and will be done so weekly, the time is 8 weeks, based on performance to date it is achievable and it is realistic.
This ties into my other Output, clothes, when I lost all of my weight before, I went mad, spending £1000s on anything with a name on it from Prada and Versace to G-Star and Diesel, fashion might have moved on, but my love of it hasn't, so I've bought my self some new clothes to get into when I hit that target of 4 stones!
Now, I have been plugging websites and app's galore, but this is the biggest one, and a thank you to the new lady in my life, Allison. The one thing that I got from wrtiing my last blog was that I need support along this journey, and so I have joined Slimming World with a friend. Alison, our consultant, has given me some fantastic new ideas for healthy eating, and proved to be a real dynamo of motivation and support! (https://www.facebook.com/groups/314882326512/?fref=ts)
Wednesday, 10 October 2012
Age Concern down Memory Lane
I am now 27! This fact, despite a lot of celebrations of my birthday involving a 2000mile train trip across the country, an ice bar, and a lot of Jagermeister, really only dawned on me today when discussing our respective ages at work and one of our senior managers who turns 40 this year. I actually thought she was already in her 40's, but naturally you don't say that out loud, it doesn't make for career enhancing stuff!!
So what's the relevance of the age? Well nothing really, in a lot of ways I still feel like I'm 18 or younger, just that now I kind of have more of a sense of who I am than I did then, and then that thought led onto: well who are you? I'm sure you're thinking that this is sounding far too introspective to be good for this sort of blog? Well bare with, the inner emo needs to out itself once in a while.
So how do I define myself? Gay? Yes! A geek? Certainly! I pride myself on not following convention, but then, and hypocritically so, like to follow convention when it suits me! Creative? Yes, but it probably doesn't get out as much as I would like! A railway professional? Yes, my career, after my friends, is probably the most important thing in my life! So then were do I define myself as fat? Well actually I don't. I generally speaking, and this is odd, do not think of myself as a "fat" person.
Now you're thinking, Col, have you lost your mind and ended up with some kind of reverse body-dismorphic syndrome? No, and it's not about size, its about mindset. I am aware of my size, aware of it more than most, but its not how I think of myself.
Now this is important, as it helps me on this journey as "this" is not "me" and in the mind set I am in now, it makes me more and more determined that in a year to 18 months, I'm going to be vastly different in size than I am now!
So where does my age come into this post? Well for the first time in my life, and I am aware this is a dangerous statement to make here, I feel like I am in control of the factors that affect my weight. My motivation is locked into this course now, and the things that I am doing, planing meals, making packed lunches, going to the gym, actively pushing myself at the gym and having the organisation to go!
Now I wouldn't consider myself an expert, but the basics of nutrition and exercise are essential for someone on this journey, and I would say that I know more than most, I think a few of my close friends who I talk to about this journey have been surprised just how much I know about putting a fitness plan together, but like a fire, there's a triangle of things needed to make it burn, and knowledge is but one.
Secondly, there's motivation, and again, age plays a factor here, again, it shocks me that its been 10 years since I lost the weight before. When I was doing all of the media and press interviews before, I used to quite bluntly (and playing the media headline game I have to admit) say "I would be dead before I hit 30 had I not turned my life around!" Well turns out that there's actually not that much time left before the big three-zero, and that thought, sobering as it is, still scares me. There's other motivators too of course, image for me being the biggest one!
Lastly, and the third side of our "weight loss triangle" is mindset. I'm not quite sure where this comes from and if I did, I don't think I'd have ever regressed, but its different to motivation, motivation is what keeps you going, mindset is what draws everything together, I have always had motivators to want to loose weight, but getting those motivators, the technical knowledge and the mindset right all at the same time is a battle of its very own!
My point here, the connection, is that sometimes you need certain things to align before things can happen, and whilst, yes I am 27, maybe its taken all of these years for these three parts of the weight loss triangle to combine in me to make this fire burn?!
So what's the relevance of the age? Well nothing really, in a lot of ways I still feel like I'm 18 or younger, just that now I kind of have more of a sense of who I am than I did then, and then that thought led onto: well who are you? I'm sure you're thinking that this is sounding far too introspective to be good for this sort of blog? Well bare with, the inner emo needs to out itself once in a while.
So how do I define myself? Gay? Yes! A geek? Certainly! I pride myself on not following convention, but then, and hypocritically so, like to follow convention when it suits me! Creative? Yes, but it probably doesn't get out as much as I would like! A railway professional? Yes, my career, after my friends, is probably the most important thing in my life! So then were do I define myself as fat? Well actually I don't. I generally speaking, and this is odd, do not think of myself as a "fat" person.
Now you're thinking, Col, have you lost your mind and ended up with some kind of reverse body-dismorphic syndrome? No, and it's not about size, its about mindset. I am aware of my size, aware of it more than most, but its not how I think of myself.
Now this is important, as it helps me on this journey as "this" is not "me" and in the mind set I am in now, it makes me more and more determined that in a year to 18 months, I'm going to be vastly different in size than I am now!
So where does my age come into this post? Well for the first time in my life, and I am aware this is a dangerous statement to make here, I feel like I am in control of the factors that affect my weight. My motivation is locked into this course now, and the things that I am doing, planing meals, making packed lunches, going to the gym, actively pushing myself at the gym and having the organisation to go!
Now I wouldn't consider myself an expert, but the basics of nutrition and exercise are essential for someone on this journey, and I would say that I know more than most, I think a few of my close friends who I talk to about this journey have been surprised just how much I know about putting a fitness plan together, but like a fire, there's a triangle of things needed to make it burn, and knowledge is but one.
Secondly, there's motivation, and again, age plays a factor here, again, it shocks me that its been 10 years since I lost the weight before. When I was doing all of the media and press interviews before, I used to quite bluntly (and playing the media headline game I have to admit) say "I would be dead before I hit 30 had I not turned my life around!" Well turns out that there's actually not that much time left before the big three-zero, and that thought, sobering as it is, still scares me. There's other motivators too of course, image for me being the biggest one!
Lastly, and the third side of our "weight loss triangle" is mindset. I'm not quite sure where this comes from and if I did, I don't think I'd have ever regressed, but its different to motivation, motivation is what keeps you going, mindset is what draws everything together, I have always had motivators to want to loose weight, but getting those motivators, the technical knowledge and the mindset right all at the same time is a battle of its very own!
My point here, the connection, is that sometimes you need certain things to align before things can happen, and whilst, yes I am 27, maybe its taken all of these years for these three parts of the weight loss triangle to combine in me to make this fire burn?!
Thursday, 27 September 2012
Happy Birthday to Me!
I am not 27...I have decided I am in my mid 20's still, and if anyone asks me, I'm 24 and 36 months. I know that 27 is not old, and I certainly most of the time still feel like I am 17, but, it really bothers me to think that I am creeping closer and closer to 30 year old!
Anyway, lots planned over the next few days, including a trip to TGI Fridays and then off to Bonny Scotland!!
Gym was good yesterday but busy and full of the sort of people that seem to like to stand around and hog machines so I got a bit frustrated, but thanks to Mr Geutta and his Little Bad Girl, managed an extra .02km taking my personal best now to 6.79km in 15 minutes!
Oh well means I can justify that Chocolate Fudge cake tomorrow?!
Anyway, lots planned over the next few days, including a trip to TGI Fridays and then off to Bonny Scotland!!
Gym was good yesterday but busy and full of the sort of people that seem to like to stand around and hog machines so I got a bit frustrated, but thanks to Mr Geutta and his Little Bad Girl, managed an extra .02km taking my personal best now to 6.79km in 15 minutes!
Oh well means I can justify that Chocolate Fudge cake tomorrow?!
Monday, 24 September 2012
Failing to Plan is to Plan to Fail
Another cracking gym session today, no records broken, but then I wasn't trying to, just get a good consistent session in the back of the net as today marks the start of my annual leave!! Yes, they railway god's have decreed that I can have 2 weeks off!
Anyway, holiday times are always a difficult one to keep this sort of momentum going especially given some of the things that I have planned over the next few weeks, especially as it's my birthday, which is a blog post in of itself.
So let's start with what I have planned, two trips to Scotland, a night out in London and a day trip to Cardiff, a few days back in the North East...oh an a Birthday House Jager Party!
I have a cunning plan to make sure that I get gym sessions in every other day, and making use of FitnessFirst's policy of letting you use all of the other clubs in their chain! To make sure that eating is adhered to, I'm planning out in advance were we will be going.
Anyway, holiday times are always a difficult one to keep this sort of momentum going especially given some of the things that I have planned over the next few weeks, especially as it's my birthday, which is a blog post in of itself.
So let's start with what I have planned, two trips to Scotland, a night out in London and a day trip to Cardiff, a few days back in the North East...oh an a Birthday House Jager Party!
I have a cunning plan to make sure that I get gym sessions in every other day, and making use of FitnessFirst's policy of letting you use all of the other clubs in their chain! To make sure that eating is adhered to, I'm planning out in advance were we will be going.
Saturday, 22 September 2012
I think a treat is in order...
Well this week has been quite a good one, certainly a lot better than I had expected.
Whilst the gym had taken a back, seat, eating healthily didn't, so I don't feel like I lost a lot of progress, but I do think that generally, this has been the first week after the para's to really crack on with the physical activity.
One of the tools that I'm using is an app that a friend of mine, Simone, recommended, and its turning out to be incredibly useful. Its called MyFitnessPal and basically you log everything you eat and physical activity and gives you targets based on your Basel Metabolic Rate (BMR), it asks for underlying assumptions to pin this on, as well as your general lifestyle type. For example in the job I do, I am very rarely just sat at a desk I'm on my feet doing inspections of stations and visiting staff, so it builds all of that in.
Anyway I'm hoping this is going to be a graph that I'm going to be able to show on a week by week basis. This is my net calorie consumption for the week, as you can see, the really low days, Tuesday, Thursday and today at the days that I was at the gym, so calorie in take is offset against expenditure:
So hot on the heels of that success came another!!
I mentioned last night about hitting 6.72km in 15 mins! Well look at todays result!!
So next week is going to be the challenge to keep the momentum up, but as for tomorrow, I'm looking forward to a great big Raspberry filled KrispyKreme!! Everything in Moderation!!
Whilst the gym had taken a back, seat, eating healthily didn't, so I don't feel like I lost a lot of progress, but I do think that generally, this has been the first week after the para's to really crack on with the physical activity.
One of the tools that I'm using is an app that a friend of mine, Simone, recommended, and its turning out to be incredibly useful. Its called MyFitnessPal and basically you log everything you eat and physical activity and gives you targets based on your Basel Metabolic Rate (BMR), it asks for underlying assumptions to pin this on, as well as your general lifestyle type. For example in the job I do, I am very rarely just sat at a desk I'm on my feet doing inspections of stations and visiting staff, so it builds all of that in.
Anyway I'm hoping this is going to be a graph that I'm going to be able to show on a week by week basis. This is my net calorie consumption for the week, as you can see, the really low days, Tuesday, Thursday and today at the days that I was at the gym, so calorie in take is offset against expenditure:
So hot on the heels of that success came another!!
I mentioned last night about hitting 6.72km in 15 mins! Well look at todays result!!
Thursday, 20 September 2012
Positive. Mental. Attitude.
The problem with being a successful railway professional in a high
flying managerial role is that life just never easy, someone's ringing
you, you always have to go somewhere, there is always another meeting,
jesus, believe me, there is ALWAYS another meeting to go to!
I used to think, before I was a manager that meetings were fun, that they made important decisions in said meetings and change the way the railway runs - not quite, you normally sit there, debate the problem for a few hours, decide you don't have the money to fix it, and decide that we'll "see how it goes" and hope for the best.
It's frustrating!
Anyway, the demands of the job are such that it's so difficult to work out where you are going to be at a given time, and that's made as I said yesterday, planing the gym difficult.
The problem is always that I am always rushing, trying to sort all of my gym stuff in the morning, then to get out of work, and then getting there, getting changed. Well I tried something different today, simply going home first! Not taking my kit with me, just going home, having a drink, a shower and getting changed and mentally prepared.
Well I am proud to say that worked a treat, the metric that I keep an eye on during CV work is distance, its furthest away from time, so I don't look at the countdown, my previous best in any one session (of 15 min bouts) was 6.55km, today, I did 6.72km, so am one very happy bunny!
I basically but this down quite simply to mentally preparing myself!
Key Lesson Learnt I think!!
I used to think, before I was a manager that meetings were fun, that they made important decisions in said meetings and change the way the railway runs - not quite, you normally sit there, debate the problem for a few hours, decide you don't have the money to fix it, and decide that we'll "see how it goes" and hope for the best.
It's frustrating!
Anyway, the demands of the job are such that it's so difficult to work out where you are going to be at a given time, and that's made as I said yesterday, planing the gym difficult.
The problem is always that I am always rushing, trying to sort all of my gym stuff in the morning, then to get out of work, and then getting there, getting changed. Well I tried something different today, simply going home first! Not taking my kit with me, just going home, having a drink, a shower and getting changed and mentally prepared.
Well I am proud to say that worked a treat, the metric that I keep an eye on during CV work is distance, its furthest away from time, so I don't look at the countdown, my previous best in any one session (of 15 min bouts) was 6.55km, today, I did 6.72km, so am one very happy bunny!
I basically but this down quite simply to mentally preparing myself!
Key Lesson Learnt I think!!
Wednesday, 19 September 2012
Olympic Legacy...
So the past few months I have been quite quiet, and to he honest, my training has felt like it's almost been on hold, there is quite an irony to this though its all due to: The Olympics!
Yes, the major sporting event due to "Inspire A Generation" has in fact knocked me off course but in the process have actually ended up learning quite a lot.
One fact, which has really spurned me on is that I'm not getting any younger, and I write this with about 9 days left till I turn 27. You see when I was 18, the point when I lost all of my weight before I was literally like a little dynamo, 6th form during the day, work till 2300 every night, and then at the weekends, in fact almost every weekend of that year, I use to have to go to Stockport.
Not once did I feel tired, or worn by it all.
Now, 9 years later, and with a job that places a massive demand on my time, and which can be intellectually and physically demanding at times, I find myself just not having that same level of energy and enthusiasm that I once did.
I think the time has come where I need to be more regimented in my approach to work. I have little doubt that this will provide benefits in other ways, but for now, I see it as vital to ensuring that I am getting my gym sessions in at least 3 times a week!
The other issue, work related was the Olympics, I volunteered (well half demanded!) that I be given the night shift to the duration. Now in the line of work that I do, our business can be subject to extreme disruption, and managing that safely is something that is paramount. I regard myself as being one of the best at doing that, so when it came to volunteering for these night shifts, I thought it would be exhilarating, demanding and a real challenge.
Well it wasn't.
All of the preparations we had put in for the Olympics worked fantastically, and so my role ended up being little other than directing people, or getting bored that nothing was happening. Good for the business, but I don't do "bored" very well so I ended up going stir crazy, not to mention the affect that night shifts for 6 weeks had on my sleep pattern.
Anyway all back sorted now :)
Yes, the major sporting event due to "Inspire A Generation" has in fact knocked me off course but in the process have actually ended up learning quite a lot.
One fact, which has really spurned me on is that I'm not getting any younger, and I write this with about 9 days left till I turn 27. You see when I was 18, the point when I lost all of my weight before I was literally like a little dynamo, 6th form during the day, work till 2300 every night, and then at the weekends, in fact almost every weekend of that year, I use to have to go to Stockport.
Not once did I feel tired, or worn by it all.
Now, 9 years later, and with a job that places a massive demand on my time, and which can be intellectually and physically demanding at times, I find myself just not having that same level of energy and enthusiasm that I once did.
I think the time has come where I need to be more regimented in my approach to work. I have little doubt that this will provide benefits in other ways, but for now, I see it as vital to ensuring that I am getting my gym sessions in at least 3 times a week!
The other issue, work related was the Olympics, I volunteered (well half demanded!) that I be given the night shift to the duration. Now in the line of work that I do, our business can be subject to extreme disruption, and managing that safely is something that is paramount. I regard myself as being one of the best at doing that, so when it came to volunteering for these night shifts, I thought it would be exhilarating, demanding and a real challenge.
Well it wasn't.
All of the preparations we had put in for the Olympics worked fantastically, and so my role ended up being little other than directing people, or getting bored that nothing was happening. Good for the business, but I don't do "bored" very well so I ended up going stir crazy, not to mention the affect that night shifts for 6 weeks had on my sleep pattern.
Anyway all back sorted now :)
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
Gym Wankers
Well tonight was very positive, I beat my last gym session on most of the metrics that I am measuring so that was good, although I was forced to do something that normally pisses me off, I took a call in the gym!!
Now normally, I am glued to my phone(s) as most of my friends will attest, my work phone normally more so, and I will take calls in the middle of a conversation, on a train, and yes in the loo.
HOWEVER!
3X2hr slots a week is phone free time, and that's the gym! I am quite strict about this, they provide such a distraction, constantly buzzing, going off, answering messages, checking Facebook. I'm not as bothered with weights, but when you're doing CV, I just love to get into that groove, of nothing but you, the music, and the "open road" so to speak.
Anyway, there was these kids in today, clearly on Free Day Passes, clearly messing around, without any clue what they were doing, messing about on treadmills, then they started playing this shitty music on their phones, and then started taking calls!!
Now to excuse my brief indiscretion, I am currently On Call with responsibility for 26 route miles, including the London Terminus, of this countries Busiest Mainline Railway, so you know, I have an excuse, but these kids were seriously pissing me off!!
Anyway, enough of that, got home and had a lovely tea of Quorn Burgers and Jacket Spud, am I turning Veggie now?!
Now normally, I am glued to my phone(s) as most of my friends will attest, my work phone normally more so, and I will take calls in the middle of a conversation, on a train, and yes in the loo.
HOWEVER!
3X2hr slots a week is phone free time, and that's the gym! I am quite strict about this, they provide such a distraction, constantly buzzing, going off, answering messages, checking Facebook. I'm not as bothered with weights, but when you're doing CV, I just love to get into that groove, of nothing but you, the music, and the "open road" so to speak.
Anyway, there was these kids in today, clearly on Free Day Passes, clearly messing around, without any clue what they were doing, messing about on treadmills, then they started playing this shitty music on their phones, and then started taking calls!!
Now to excuse my brief indiscretion, I am currently On Call with responsibility for 26 route miles, including the London Terminus, of this countries Busiest Mainline Railway, so you know, I have an excuse, but these kids were seriously pissing me off!!
Anyway, enough of that, got home and had a lovely tea of Quorn Burgers and Jacket Spud, am I turning Veggie now?!
Thursday, 3 May 2012
Less of a Derailment, more a Rough Ride...
Oh dear, I have now started to litter this blog with random railway terminology!
Well yesterday afternoon was a little bit of a disaster, was meant to be hosting a dinner party for some friends, well turns out that I forgot my debit card, and got back home with no time to go back out and get stuff, so my dinner party ended up in an Indian! Now, yes, I have said, all in moderation, but I might have pigged out slightly with it, and then since the guys didn't leave till 2300, I then stayed up working till nearly 0100 to get some reports finished!
This resulted in no packed lunch for today, and very nearly no gym session as I was being lazy and was like "Do I wanna pack my bag". The thought crossed my mind...had I derailed already? But thankfully not, I recognised the warning signs early enough, and got my act together, rather than allowing little things derail me I kept my course.
Anyway, had a fantastic session at the gym, except a condescending Personal Trainer trying to prostitute himself to me...wouldn't care but he wasn't even that good looking for me to want to pay him £25 to spend an hour with him!!
Well yesterday afternoon was a little bit of a disaster, was meant to be hosting a dinner party for some friends, well turns out that I forgot my debit card, and got back home with no time to go back out and get stuff, so my dinner party ended up in an Indian! Now, yes, I have said, all in moderation, but I might have pigged out slightly with it, and then since the guys didn't leave till 2300, I then stayed up working till nearly 0100 to get some reports finished!
This resulted in no packed lunch for today, and very nearly no gym session as I was being lazy and was like "Do I wanna pack my bag". The thought crossed my mind...had I derailed already? But thankfully not, I recognised the warning signs early enough, and got my act together, rather than allowing little things derail me I kept my course.
Anyway, had a fantastic session at the gym, except a condescending Personal Trainer trying to prostitute himself to me...wouldn't care but he wasn't even that good looking for me to want to pay him £25 to spend an hour with him!!
Tuesday, 1 May 2012
On Top of the World...
So, day 6 in, and my third session at the gym, feeling slightly pasted this evening as I do appear to be getting my fitness back a LOT quicker than I thought I would, and I am really enjoying CV work this time, which is something I always found a chore in the past.
I think that the measure of success there, so far, has actually been keeping an active track on what I have done in terms of distance, speed, and intensity each session, so I have been able to with each session increase something, cope with it, and come out of it feeling pretty bloody good.
I stepped out of the gym this evening and was just ludicrously happy, and this is something that has lasted all night, its getting on for 22:00 now, and I finished in the gym about 1830? Obviously the serotonin that gets released has a good effect.
It's more than just chemicals though, its the satisfaction with myself, that whilst yes, I enjoyed the gym, I am actually achieving something that's so very positive. The comparison has to be drawn with food, and taking comfort in food, its such a transient, in the moment experience that only lasts beyond the end of the bar of chocolate.
I never understand even my own attitude at this, because I know how much fun I have had and how good I feel and I think to myself "how can you allow yourself to have the opposite feeling after a Dominoes session, or a trip to McDonalds?" I'm not really sure what the answer is, but at the moment, I cannot imagine wanting to ruin how good I feel with food.
I guess its about keeping the balance right, and something inside me tells me I might have it right this time!!
I think that the measure of success there, so far, has actually been keeping an active track on what I have done in terms of distance, speed, and intensity each session, so I have been able to with each session increase something, cope with it, and come out of it feeling pretty bloody good.
I stepped out of the gym this evening and was just ludicrously happy, and this is something that has lasted all night, its getting on for 22:00 now, and I finished in the gym about 1830? Obviously the serotonin that gets released has a good effect.
It's more than just chemicals though, its the satisfaction with myself, that whilst yes, I enjoyed the gym, I am actually achieving something that's so very positive. The comparison has to be drawn with food, and taking comfort in food, its such a transient, in the moment experience that only lasts beyond the end of the bar of chocolate.
I never understand even my own attitude at this, because I know how much fun I have had and how good I feel and I think to myself "how can you allow yourself to have the opposite feeling after a Dominoes session, or a trip to McDonalds?" I'm not really sure what the answer is, but at the moment, I cannot imagine wanting to ruin how good I feel with food.
I guess its about keeping the balance right, and something inside me tells me I might have it right this time!!
Saturday, 28 April 2012
Mind Set
It occurs to me how much of all of this life style changing stuff is actually mind over matter. None of it is complicated, difficult or inherently challenging other than getting into the actual mind set of it all. Now obviously I have been committed to making changes probably since the back end of February, and a lot of things have been gradual, and its only really the last week that I have started doing things that make a LOT of impact.
And it's that where success is to be found, I remember when I lost all of the weight before, it was always so simple, mathematical even, calories in needs to be less than or at least equals to calories out, and this was always where when people would stop me and want all of my "secrets" the one thing I could never get across to them.
Obviously there is a underpinning knowledge to what I am doing, and out of safety an understanding of how to do physical acitivity safely, but none of that is anything that out of this world, or needs a degree for. I think this is an appropriate juncture to mention my very good friend Professor Paul Gately, who has taught me pretty much everything I know on this subject through going to, and then working on the Carnegie Weight Management Summer Camps, (www.more-life.co.uk) when I lost all of the weight before.
To me this process is simple as I said, its easy, "mathematical" but then controlling the mind set is possibly where the challenge will come in, and that, just like comfort eating is a bit of a spiral, so is the weight loss, a little bit of success spurns you on, and on and on. That's what the "Diet" industry really should try to bottle and sell, because that, certainly to me is the vital and key ingredient!
And it's that where success is to be found, I remember when I lost all of the weight before, it was always so simple, mathematical even, calories in needs to be less than or at least equals to calories out, and this was always where when people would stop me and want all of my "secrets" the one thing I could never get across to them.
Obviously there is a underpinning knowledge to what I am doing, and out of safety an understanding of how to do physical acitivity safely, but none of that is anything that out of this world, or needs a degree for. I think this is an appropriate juncture to mention my very good friend Professor Paul Gately, who has taught me pretty much everything I know on this subject through going to, and then working on the Carnegie Weight Management Summer Camps, (www.more-life.co.uk) when I lost all of the weight before.
To me this process is simple as I said, its easy, "mathematical" but then controlling the mind set is possibly where the challenge will come in, and that, just like comfort eating is a bit of a spiral, so is the weight loss, a little bit of success spurns you on, and on and on. That's what the "Diet" industry really should try to bottle and sell, because that, certainly to me is the vital and key ingredient!
Friday, 27 April 2012
Actually this is quite fun...
Well stepped into the gym with the intention of training today (queue EYE OF THE TIGER) I had said before that I was slightly nervous about this, but knew that I would enjoy it as I always have, and to be honest, it was just like riding a bike, well I suppose to a certain extent, it WAS riding a bike!
Anyway I surprised myself slightly, the anticipation was that I'd find anything difficult, and probably feel like quitting after 10 minutes was not actually how I found it. I had set my self an initial target of 20mins cardio work, which ended up being 45 mins, so very pleased with that!
Came out feeling on top of the world, and well haven't really come down all day, which to be honest has been a bit of an odd one, with a random trip to Hitchin, for 15 minutes, and wandering around Peterborough city centre every which human way possible!
Ended up having the most disgusting tea in a "Mexican" restaurant which really wasn't worth £18, we should have gone to Wetherspoons, oh well live and learn.
Anyway I surprised myself slightly, the anticipation was that I'd find anything difficult, and probably feel like quitting after 10 minutes was not actually how I found it. I had set my self an initial target of 20mins cardio work, which ended up being 45 mins, so very pleased with that!
Came out feeling on top of the world, and well haven't really come down all day, which to be honest has been a bit of an odd one, with a random trip to Hitchin, for 15 minutes, and wandering around Peterborough city centre every which human way possible!
Ended up having the most disgusting tea in a "Mexican" restaurant which really wasn't worth £18, we should have gone to Wetherspoons, oh well live and learn.
Thursday, 26 April 2012
It all starts somewhere...
Well hello there and welcome to my world!!
Oh dear that probably sounds like a scary concept for most of you! Hell it's a scary concept for me, and I always hate these introductions, its like "How much exposition do you give?". And there's that slight akwardness of who is actually going to read this, and this slight anticipation that it's going to turn "viral" (oh look at me and my buzzwords) and all of a sudden you're a minor celebrity, well to be honest I've been there, done that and got the sex, lies and videotape to prove it (hey I got to meet Jerry Springer, how cool am I?") .
Oh well I'll thumbnail myself for you actually, this was actually a description one of my bosses used about me, not quite sure how to react to it, but it does what it says on the tin: "From Sunderland, 26 (I was 24 at the time but hey ho), Station Manager, Likes Trains and Boys Willies and could do with loosing a bit of weight" All true really, so I guess that's me, that's Col...in a nutshell, although were I actually in a nutshell that might be cause for more questions.
Anyway, I guess I should talk about what I wanted to talk about, and where I am headed...
Basically, the whole weight thing has been getting me down my love, like a cat in a bag waiting to drown (okay I digressed courtesy of Richard Ashcroft!), for sometime now, and it's one of those things that seems to go up and down dependant on mood, attitude, and emotional well being, but even when things are going good I never seem to be able to control it, and it always seems to be in a bit of a free fall.
I'd done it before, remember me saying been there and done that about being a celeb? Well you couldn't walk down the street in Sunderland without someone asking me about "How did you loose the weight?" "Give me your tips" barely a week went past without being on the TV or radio or in the local news. It was an exciting time, but sadly, things got on top of me and I ended up on a loosing streak, turns out that the drugs don't work! (Look another Richard Ashcroft reference) It was less drugs though and more food.
I don't have a healthy relationship with food at all, it controls me most of the time, and that's the link that I am trying to break. Sometimes I can break it for months, even years at a time, but then something goes wrong, work gets tough, or I have a bust up with someone, or I just feel shit about being overweight and BOOM, look what's there....ahhh Dominos my old friend, Cadburys how I have missed you, Fish and Chip's you love me don't you, you'll never leave me!?! Oh yeah that bloated feeling at the end of it is what love is all about!! Makes you feel really great on the inside!
Well now its time for change, and I know that that sounds all very well and good at the moment, so the fat boy makes a few pledges and then nothing really changes. I guess that's part of the reason why I want to put this in my own words this time, I want to tell my story my way, rather than through a press release, newspaper story or told by some journalist who never really understands what it's all about as they are dangerously anorexic themselves to try and stay ahead in what is their own highly image conscious industry.
A few things are different this time, me, age, it occurred to me only this week that it was actually 10 years ago when I lost all of the weight before, and that's a scary thought at how much of the past 10 years have been spent trying to get back down my ideal weight as a result a pretty huge set of knockbacks around 05/06 time.
My own health scares me, I'd say I've been pretty lucky so far, I've not had diabetes, chest pains, heart conditions, all of the major stuff that you associate with obesity (I HATE that word, more than the word "normal"!) but it has had an impact on my life massively, and the past two years has started to have an impact on my health. I spent the first half of 2011 in recovery from two minor falls that damaged my left knee, which because of the excess weight and pressure placed on it refused to heal, and ever since 2009, I have been plagued with cellulitis (no its nothing to do with Cellulite), basically its an infection between the outer layers of skin in the lower limbs caused by poor circulation, caused by...being overweight.
To be honest, I am normally hugely embarrassed by telling people this fact, and always lie about the origin of what the infection is, saying its a cut, or a blood infection, or I caught it off a nettle sting etc etc.
So anyway that's one factor, the second factor, I guess a pretty major one would be the death of my Mam last year, entirely due to smoking and weight related complications. I always kind of blamed her for her own poor health, and even now I maintain that she needn't have died if she looked after herself, and I don't want to be another casualty like that!
Then there's my job, which has certain medical pre-requisites, of which I only just scraped through, and would probably struggle with if I wanted to go into a more operational role, which I do.
Lastly, there's the influence of two friends who have butted their noses in recently in seperate interventions, the pair of them know who they are and I sharn't name them, but needless to say that anyone would feel strong enough to speak to me, and keep me motivated really means a lot.
It also occurred to me, that if I don't solve this now, and make a good fucking go at it, I probably never will, I still, thankfully, am relatively, phyiscally fit, I walked three miles around town today without any adverse affects, a lot of people my size wouldn't even be able to cope with that, but if the weight continues the way it is, then I will loose that ability and end up in a bed like those freaks you see on TV, and that scares me.
Anyway, had to do that horrible first step today of stepping into a gym, now this actually excites me. I actually enjoy going to the gym, in fact I would say a good gym session probably makes me feel better about myself than half a dozen KitKat's!! The issue, again is embarrassment, you walk in that door, and you yourself think that everyone else has these preconceptions about you, which in fairness they probably do, but as someone once told me what's your opinion on a druggie on the street taking crack, and what's your opinion of one walking into a rehab clinic asking for help of their own volition?
Sorted out all of my fitness planning till end of June, and food plans are coming along nicely for a similar time frame. Already spent money on a new outfit which I WILL be getting into in September come hell or high water!!
Anyway, if you're still awake that's the end....hope you keep reading...
Oh dear that probably sounds like a scary concept for most of you! Hell it's a scary concept for me, and I always hate these introductions, its like "How much exposition do you give?". And there's that slight akwardness of who is actually going to read this, and this slight anticipation that it's going to turn "viral" (oh look at me and my buzzwords) and all of a sudden you're a minor celebrity, well to be honest I've been there, done that and got the sex, lies and videotape to prove it (hey I got to meet Jerry Springer, how cool am I?") .
Oh well I'll thumbnail myself for you actually, this was actually a description one of my bosses used about me, not quite sure how to react to it, but it does what it says on the tin: "From Sunderland, 26 (I was 24 at the time but hey ho), Station Manager, Likes Trains and Boys Willies and could do with loosing a bit of weight" All true really, so I guess that's me, that's Col...in a nutshell, although were I actually in a nutshell that might be cause for more questions.
Anyway, I guess I should talk about what I wanted to talk about, and where I am headed...
Basically, the whole weight thing has been getting me down my love, like a cat in a bag waiting to drown (okay I digressed courtesy of Richard Ashcroft!), for sometime now, and it's one of those things that seems to go up and down dependant on mood, attitude, and emotional well being, but even when things are going good I never seem to be able to control it, and it always seems to be in a bit of a free fall.
I'd done it before, remember me saying been there and done that about being a celeb? Well you couldn't walk down the street in Sunderland without someone asking me about "How did you loose the weight?" "Give me your tips" barely a week went past without being on the TV or radio or in the local news. It was an exciting time, but sadly, things got on top of me and I ended up on a loosing streak, turns out that the drugs don't work! (Look another Richard Ashcroft reference) It was less drugs though and more food.
I don't have a healthy relationship with food at all, it controls me most of the time, and that's the link that I am trying to break. Sometimes I can break it for months, even years at a time, but then something goes wrong, work gets tough, or I have a bust up with someone, or I just feel shit about being overweight and BOOM, look what's there....ahhh Dominos my old friend, Cadburys how I have missed you, Fish and Chip's you love me don't you, you'll never leave me!?! Oh yeah that bloated feeling at the end of it is what love is all about!! Makes you feel really great on the inside!
Well now its time for change, and I know that that sounds all very well and good at the moment, so the fat boy makes a few pledges and then nothing really changes. I guess that's part of the reason why I want to put this in my own words this time, I want to tell my story my way, rather than through a press release, newspaper story or told by some journalist who never really understands what it's all about as they are dangerously anorexic themselves to try and stay ahead in what is their own highly image conscious industry.
A few things are different this time, me, age, it occurred to me only this week that it was actually 10 years ago when I lost all of the weight before, and that's a scary thought at how much of the past 10 years have been spent trying to get back down my ideal weight as a result a pretty huge set of knockbacks around 05/06 time.
My own health scares me, I'd say I've been pretty lucky so far, I've not had diabetes, chest pains, heart conditions, all of the major stuff that you associate with obesity (I HATE that word, more than the word "normal"!) but it has had an impact on my life massively, and the past two years has started to have an impact on my health. I spent the first half of 2011 in recovery from two minor falls that damaged my left knee, which because of the excess weight and pressure placed on it refused to heal, and ever since 2009, I have been plagued with cellulitis (no its nothing to do with Cellulite), basically its an infection between the outer layers of skin in the lower limbs caused by poor circulation, caused by...being overweight.
To be honest, I am normally hugely embarrassed by telling people this fact, and always lie about the origin of what the infection is, saying its a cut, or a blood infection, or I caught it off a nettle sting etc etc.
So anyway that's one factor, the second factor, I guess a pretty major one would be the death of my Mam last year, entirely due to smoking and weight related complications. I always kind of blamed her for her own poor health, and even now I maintain that she needn't have died if she looked after herself, and I don't want to be another casualty like that!
Then there's my job, which has certain medical pre-requisites, of which I only just scraped through, and would probably struggle with if I wanted to go into a more operational role, which I do.
Lastly, there's the influence of two friends who have butted their noses in recently in seperate interventions, the pair of them know who they are and I sharn't name them, but needless to say that anyone would feel strong enough to speak to me, and keep me motivated really means a lot.
It also occurred to me, that if I don't solve this now, and make a good fucking go at it, I probably never will, I still, thankfully, am relatively, phyiscally fit, I walked three miles around town today without any adverse affects, a lot of people my size wouldn't even be able to cope with that, but if the weight continues the way it is, then I will loose that ability and end up in a bed like those freaks you see on TV, and that scares me.
Anyway, had to do that horrible first step today of stepping into a gym, now this actually excites me. I actually enjoy going to the gym, in fact I would say a good gym session probably makes me feel better about myself than half a dozen KitKat's!! The issue, again is embarrassment, you walk in that door, and you yourself think that everyone else has these preconceptions about you, which in fairness they probably do, but as someone once told me what's your opinion on a druggie on the street taking crack, and what's your opinion of one walking into a rehab clinic asking for help of their own volition?
Sorted out all of my fitness planning till end of June, and food plans are coming along nicely for a similar time frame. Already spent money on a new outfit which I WILL be getting into in September come hell or high water!!
Anyway, if you're still awake that's the end....hope you keep reading...
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